A Beautiful But Sad Observation On The Nature Of Human Relationships

Comic/actor John Mulaney on the 1/22/2020 airing of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert...

I was on vacation. My wife and I took our moms on a trip for mother's day. ... Third day of the trip my wife said, "you act fake around your mom". I said "yeah". And she said, "why do you do that". I said, "you're supposed to. You're supposed to act fake around adults". My wife said, "you're 36 years old".

And then she said, "so there's a fake you with your parents. And there's a fake you on stage". And I said, "yes". And then Anna said, "so how do I know, when I'm with you, that it's the real you?". And I said, "you don't". So, she thought about it for a little bit and she said, "you know, we've been together for 9 years and I think we'll be together for a long time. But you will never really know what I think of you. And I will never know what you think of me".

And I said, "you know, if there's a Hell, I think it's an encyclopedia. And you can just look up what everyone in your life thought about you. And if there is a Heaven, it's a Wikipedia. And you can just change that".

*applause*.

Stephen Colbert: That's beautiful and sad at the same time.

**End***

I liked this when I heard it, so I wrote it down. Though, given that John Mulaney and Anna Marie Tendler got divorced in 2021, she was clearly wrong when she said she thought they would be together for a long time. They were only married about a year longer after she allegedly said this.

In 2024 John Mulaney married actress Olivia Munn. Maybe Olivia knows the REAL John Mulaney? I'm thinking probably not.