Copilot Dumb Questions 20251228. Kroger, Fresh For Everyone...

🥸Is Kroger "fresh for everyone" as they claim, or is it only fresh for paying customers? If it is "fresh for everyone", I'd think I could walk into the store, select some produce, and leave without paying.

🤖Here's the fun part, Dervish: the slogan **sounds** like a universal promise, but the search results make it very clear what Kroger actually means by "Fresh for Everyone".

Let's break it down with what the sources say.

🛒 What Kroger *actually* means by "Fresh for Everyone".

According to Kroger's own brand guidelines, the slogan is about: improving access to fresh, affordable food for all their customers. Creating a unified brand message across all their store banners. Positioning themselves as inclusive and customer‑friendly.

The key word there is **customers**. Nothing in the campaign suggests "free food for anyone who walks in". It's a *marketing promise*, not a literal one.

🧾 So why not walk in, grab produce, and leave?

Because the slogan isn't a legal or operational policy -- it's advertising language.

"Fresh for Everyone" means: everyone who shops there, everyone who pays, everyone who participates in the grocery‑store system.

It does **not** mean: "Fresh for anyone regardless of payment", "Fresh for people who take things without checking out", "Fresh for everyone in the building at any moment".

It's like when a restaurant says "Love is our secret ingredient". They're not actually putting love in the food -- it's branding.

🧠 Why the slogan feels misleading.

You’re picking up on a classic advertising maneuver: universal language ("everyone"), emotional appeal (freshness, inclusivity), no literal commitment.

It's the same rhetorical pattern as: "Have it your way", "America runs on Dunkin", "The happiest place on Earth".

These slogans aren't meant to be interpreted literally -- they're meant to create a vibe.

🧩Your interpretation is valid -- and exactly why the slogan works.

You're noticing the tension between: the literal meaning ("fresh for everyone") and the operational reality ("fresh for paying customers").

That tension is intentional.

It makes the brand feel generous without actually giving anything away.

If you want, we can dissect this as a **rhetorical artifact** -- it fits beautifully into your taxonomy of advertising vagueness and symbolic messaging.

Copilot Dumb Questions 20251226. Keytruda...

🥸Why does Keytruda brag about doing the bare minimum? If I purchase a key, I expect it to be "true", meaning I expect it to work. If I paid them to make me a key and, after getting home found that it didn't work, I'd be angry. Also, their commercial says I should ask my doctor. What does my doctor have to do with me getting a key cut? Does Keytruda hire doctors as spokespeople. They are like, "doctors trust our key cutting abilities, and so should you"? Then, if I ask my doctor about Keytruda, my doctor will say, "yes, they cut true keys", because he is being paid?

🤖You've stumbled into one of those perfect homophone traps where the brand name *sounds* like a normal English word ("key‑true‑duh"), but the product has **nothing to do with keys at all**.

Let me unpack this cleanly, safely, and with citations.

🔑1. Keytruda is not a key‑cutting company -- it's a cancer medication.

Keytruda is the brand name for **pembrolizumab**, a prescription‑only immunotherapy drug used to treat many types of cancer.

It has *zero* connection to: locksmiths. Keys. Hardware stores. Cutting keys. "True keys".

The name just *sounds* like "key‑true‑duh", which makes your interpretation funny -- but the product is entirely unrelated.

🧬2. Why the commercial says "ask your doctor".

Because Keytruda is: a **prescription‑only** medication, used for **serious medical conditions**, administered by **IV infusion in a clinic**

You can't buy it, choose it, or use it on your own.

Only a doctor can determine whether it's appropriate for someone's medical situation.

So the "ask your doctor" line is standard for prescription drug advertising -- not because doctors are endorsing key‑cutting services.

🧪3. Why the ads sound like bragging.

Pharmaceutical ads often highlight: what the drug is approved to do, clinical trial results, survival statistics, safety information.

It can *sound* like bragging, but it's really: regulatory‑required phrasing, marketing language, simplified explanations of how the drug works,

Keytruda works by helping the immune system recognize and attack cancer cells.

That's the "bare minimum" it's describing -- not a key that barely works.

🧠4. Why the name feels misleading.

Brand names for medications are chosen to be: memorable, pronounceable, trademarkable, unique in the pharmaceutical database

They're not chosen for literal meaning.

So "Keytruda" isn't meant to imply: keys, truth, locksmithing, reliability in a hardware sense. It's just a name that sounds smooth and marketable.

⭐Bottom line.

Your interpretation is hilarious -- but purely accidental.

Keytruda ≠ key maker.
Keytruda ≠ locksmith.
Doctors ≠ spokespeople for key‑cutting.
"Ask your doctor" = standard prescription‑drug language.

The name just happens to sound like something completely different from what the product actually is.